Aloha to all who stop by! Thank you for your patience and interest, and again, my apologies for being absent for so long. I had church in the pool this morning. At least, my version of church, in water, communing with nature, myself, and my Creator. Talkin’ story. Checking in. It was great. The choir, a murder of crows in the big tree was kind of off key, but, I”m sure they may have been thinking the same thing about me.
I got some answers.
I have not written a word in months. Not even one little short, silly poem. Truth be told, I have not read all that much either. Today I was looking for the real reason(s) why. …aside from my regular reticence and self-doubt. When I evaluated it, I was surprised to say the least at the outcome. I had PTSD! A new one, not the one from the military. Maybe I shouldn’t label it(I hate labels) PTSD, but I have certainly been disconnected, adrift, and more than a little depressed. Part of that has greatly to do with the current state of our nation, but I will NOT get into that! The other, more personal part, is that I miss GCLS, and feel disconnected. Yes, I know I used that word earlier, lol. I have been involved with GCLS since its creation practically, and have been a volunteer or board member in some capacity since probably 2006. I was instrumental in creating the ConVirgins, and did all of their curriculum and planning until they were returned to the responsibility of the directors of membership. I suppose that was only fair, since that is the capacity I was serving in when Lori, Val and I brainstormed the concept. …and the ConDucks. all mine! I am not sharing this for accolades or pats on the back. I am sharing to show how invested and enmeshed I was in the organization. How much of my life, and daily thoughts the organization was. So, when my tenure ended as Director of Events, it did not occur to me that I would go through anything like this. I thought I would be relieved to be relieved(see what I did there) of those long meetings, and planning, and listening to members share their feelings, negative and positive. I mean, who would miss all that! LOL Well, me. I must now find a way to feel more connected to the organization that I love, and the many friends I have gained world-wide by being a part of the organization.
So, there you have it. I’m not saying that I will be writing a novel, or long blogs, or even that there will not be another long lapse, but, at least, for me, I have identified a great part of the issue.
The other part? Grandmother(ancestors) visited during church and reminded me:
1. We have lived through worse and made it out okay.
2. Tomorrow always comes, for someone.
3. This world is not my home, stop wasting time.
4. It will ALL be okay.
5. Do my part and live in today; not yesterday, or tomorrow.
Thank you, Grandmother, and thank you all for stoping by!